Heading out for a big night? Don’t make another move until you’ve worked your way through our essential pre-night out checklist. You can thank us later…


1. Are you looking sharp?

First things first, are you looking fly? If you’re heading out straight from the office, does your shirt look like it’s just taken a transatlantic flight and smell worse? If the answer’s yes, you should probably go home change, the party will wait.


2. Will you get in with those shoes?

Are the bouncers going to take one look at your old trainers and send you packing faster than a UPS delivery guy? Time to clean up your act, son. Take a look at our collection of extremely suave footwear to find out where you’re going wrong – and to get your footwear fighting fit.


3. Do you smell like a school changing room?

The Lynx effect is for boys, not men. If you’ve teamed your cheap body spray with the lingering aroma of “long, hard day in the office”, you need to do something about it. Do not pass Go, do not collect £200. Instead, take a shower and find yourself a fragrance befitting a gentleman of your stature. GQ have a pretty good guide to decent man scent, if you need a couple of pungent pointers.


4. Are you wearing sunglasses or a hat?

Remove these immediately, sir. Only teenagers and imbeciles would enter any sort of venue in this sort of get up. Trust us.


5. Do you have a decent wingman?

Do you have the back up you need to turn that sultry glance into something more interesting? A high calibre wingman is your ticket to a successful night on the tiles.


6. Are you prepared?

If your masculine charms do the trick, are you carrying the equipment you need to be responsible? Don’t make us use another euphemism. Just do it.


7. Do you have your keys?

If you don’t want to end up inebriated and shivering on your doorstep in the early hours, make sure you Definitely Have Your Keys and that they’re safely stashed in a location where they’re not going to go flying if your dance moves get unusually ostentatious.


8. Does your phone have battery?

At some point in the night, you’re going to lose your mates or you’re going to need a taxi. Before you start collecting numbers and snapping selfies, make sure you have enough battery to get you back home.


9. Are you the designated driver?

What are you playing at? Call in a favour or make alternative arrangements immediately – the night is still young.


10. Have you eaten every carbohydrate you can find?

Frozen pizzas, ready meal lasagnes, an entire baguette of garlic bread. Make sure you’ve lined your stomach sufficiently before you hit the town. You’re probably going to need it.