We’re all for innovation and self expression here at Base London (have you seen our new SS15 collection?), but there are some lines which should never be crossed, especially when it comes to your coiffure. There’s been a marked move towards creativity in male grooming in recent years, from the man bun to the glitter beard, which has opened the door to an array of men’s hairstyles which, honestly, are probably going to haunt our nightmares (we’re looking at you, man braids).

Today we’re going to be giving you an informative (and horrendous) tour of five of the very worst men’s hairstyles which society has inflicted upon us in recent years, some of them are having a “moment” right now, others are nineties enough to become “ironically cool” any day now. If any of these dreadful dos suddenly become a la mode, we want you to be ready to say “NO”. Here’s what to avoid like the plague in 2016 and for all time…


1. The Man Bun1It’s too late for us to warn you about the man bun. It’s here. It’s happened. The internet even sells fake clip on versions for short-haired gents who lust after the look. But the truth is – they’re terrible. Unless you’re a member of a boy band or a Hollywood star with chiselled cheekbones, chances are your horrible little man bun is going to look irredeemably bad. And yes, people will judge you. AVOID.


2. Curtains2Curtains are coming. With a strong vogue for ninties style, Kurt Cobain-esque curtains are making a comeback and, yet again, they’re a look you can only really rock if you’re, well, an actual rockstar. On the rest of us mere mortals, they look like a greasy, stringy way to conceal a later life bout of teenage acne. Don’t do it.


3. The “Sonic”3We don’t predict that even the strongest nineties vibes will revive this spikey “Sonic the Hedgehog” wet-look gel horrorshow, but just in case, we thought we should underscore how absolutely unacceptable anything approaching this school disco, knee-sliding style is. Don’t even THINK about it.


4. Man Braids4We’re sure you’re smart enough to avoid this crime against all that is good and holy yourself, but the man braid is officially out on the streets, and awareness is a critical part of safety. Women’s hairstyles experienced a wave of braid-o-philia after Game of Thrones, now gents are getting in on the plaited action – and no – we’re not talking about cornrows here. We’re talking pretty man braids, like a milkmaid.


5. The Emo Fringe5If the nineties are having a moment now, surely an early 00s resurgence can only be a matter of time. With this in mind, we urge you in the strongest possible terms not to re-embrace the emo fringe. You’re grown up now. There’s no excuse. No matter how well it conceals those forehead lines adult existence has lumbered you with.


Which are the worst men’s hairstyles you’ve seen lately? Which was your worst hairstyle ever? Have you worn any of the “looks” on our list? Have your say and share your shame in the Base London Facebook group. For new looks which ARE good, don’t forget to keep tabs on our online store to get a first look at our brand new SS16 collection.