Work It Out... The Office

Welcome to your new work place, your new home from home. But what secrets lurk in your new office? You spend as much time at work as you will at home so make yourself comfortable, put the picture of your pet hamster by your monitor, make sure everything is as you want but be aware of what's around you. Here's Base London's guide to...The Office.

The WaterCooler

Historically the watercooler is more known for quenching the thirst of many a gossip and oiling the turning cogs in the rumour mill. From last night's telly to 'Did you notice that bitch Jane keeps looking at my Dave?', the watercooler is the social pedestal for the office gossip, all that chatting does make you thirsty!

The Toilet

Ever sat at your desk and felt over worked, under paid, well cheer yourself up and think about how much you can earn simply by visiting the little boys' room. Download the Salary Timer application at www.mrceri.co.uk and this clever little gizmo works out exactly what you're earning each day. Enter your salary and working hours and whenever you leave your desk, be it for a poo or a ciggy, start the timers and when you return simply stop them to find out how much you've fleeced your boss....after tax, brilliant. Now go and earn yourself £3.12

The Computer

Your so called desk buddy, your computer was meant to make life easier, but not only do we suffer from internet crashes, viruses and PC freeze, the
little blighters are now getting us sacked too. In 2007, Argos worker Tom Beech started the facebook group 'I work at Argos and can't wait to leave because it's shit', 30 minutes later his wish was granted. You've been warned

The Photocopier

It's remarkable that bearing in mind how far technology has come that the photocopier still looks the same and is as big as when it first came about. Check for smudges on the glass of the photocopier, the stereotypical 'christmas party' antics are not as common as they used to be as many chrimbo bashes aren't held in the office, check for tell-tale signs.

The Cleaner

Possibly more up to date on company affairs than anyone else in the office, this person has the liberty of strolling round the office and can look at anything they need. Make sure that your desk is always left clear and tidy. It leaves a good impression to your seniors but also protects any confidential information from prying eyes.

www.mrceri.co.uk
www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice