Get It Right...Christmas
'Tis the season to be merry, broke, suicidal and over burdened with unwanted gifts, the only thing going for you thisChristmas is that you're constantly drunk. But don't worry, all is not lost, let us show you how to survive the festiveseason.
Christmas Shopping
In a toss up between shopping or being in a pub with the lads, the beer stool would generally win hands down, however at Christmas we need to be different. But that doesn't mean we can't do it as efficiently as possible though, here's how:
Make A Budget - don't be over generous, only spare what you can afford.
Make A List - do a bit of homework and decide early what to get everyone, even double up on gifts if necessary, just make sure that they don't know each other.
Shop Online - The luxury shopper's alternative, why brave the cold when you can shop from the comfort of your own home. Make sure you check delivery deadlines and costs.
Plan Your Attack - make an itinerary for your shopping trip, plan a route and map out the hotspots for where you need to go.
Christmas Dinner
Everyone loves a good Christmas dinner, whether it is a traditional turkey or the fancy goose or beef options, make sure you include all the trimmings even the ghastly Brussel sprouts, no one likes them - we don't care. Often marred by the fact that Grandmother and Mother power struggle over the cooking, little Timmy ate too many chocolates and Grandpa is about to choke
on a crouton, this is the family get together at its best. Remain calm and carve that turkey properly, just like Grandpa used to:
1. Make sure your knife is sharp.
2. Hold the turkey firmly on the chopping board with a fork. Holding the knife parallel with the wing, make a deep cut into the breast towards the ribs
3. Now carve the turkey, slicing downwards and ending at the breast cut you have made.
4. Thin and even slices will drop off.
Gift Acceptance Tactics.
"Wow, I've always wanted one...thanks" the immortal words that show your inconsiderate gift giver that you a) don't know what it is b) have it already or c) don't like it. Show a little consideration for the present buying fool and simply say 'Aww thanks, give me a hug' then promptly put the gift down, destined for the bottom of the wardrobe, ready for someone you forgot about next year.
The Film
After stuffing yourself silly and having endured the 'present exchange' there's nothing left to do but watch the box. A usual crap selection of films will have to do...snooze.
