Base London's Gentlemen's Guide To...
October
Top 3... Pub Jokes
Women are generally the subject of many a good pub joke, be the envy of all your mates down the pub as you've got them in stitches with these man size quips. A famous law of comedy states that the secret to comedy is in the timing, so, here's how to look like a modern day Monkhouse with Base London's top 3... Pub jokes.
Cause of Death - Unknown
Following a nasty car accident, mans wife slips into a coma. After spending weeks at her bedside, the husband is summoned to the hospital. 'It's amazing' says the Doctor, breathlessly. 'While bathing your wife, one of the nurses noticed she responded to her breasts being touched'. The husband is very excited and, and asks what he can do. 'Well,' says the doc, 'if one erogenous zone provokes a response, perhaps the others will too'. So the husband goes alone into the room, where he slips his hands under the covers and begins to massage her bits. Amazingly the woman begins to move and even moan a little. The man tells the doctor, waiting outside. 'Excellent!' he says. 'If she responds like that to your finger, I think you should try oral sex'. Nodding, the husband returns to the room - but within minutes the heart monitor alarms go off, and the medics pile into the room. 'What happened?' shouts the doctor, as he checks the prone woman's face. 'I'm not sure,' replies the man, looking sheepish. 'I think she choked.'
Fairground Ride
After a woman meets a man in a bar, they talk and end up leaving together. They get back to his flat, and as he's showing her around, she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of them - all arranged in size, from the smallest on the shelves nearest the floor, to the huge daddy bears on the very top shelf. Although surprised, the woman decides not to mention this to him. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the woman rolls over and asks smiling, 'How was it?', 'Well,' says the man, frowning. 'You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.'
Put In Her Place
An 18-year-old girl walks into a pub and rips off her clothes and asks: 'Is there anyone here man enough to make a woman of me?'
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says: 'Here, iron this!'
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