Whether you're lovelorn or just plain lustful, taking that next step and asking the object of your fervour for her digits is rarely as simple as asking her for her number. Or is it?
In the wake of international slimeball Julien Blanc's blanket ban from Britain, it's more evident than ever that sleaze really doesn't please. So, if you can't manipulate a woman into giving you her personal details, how the devil do you take things to the next level?
To solve this epic mystery we asked an Actual Woman for a few tips from the other side of the gender divide...
Holly's idiot-proof tips:
- Remember: women aren't Monopoly
“There's this whole culture of “playing the game” and “being a player” out there, but women aren't Monopoly or Boggle. You can't play a woman like a game of Mousetrap. At least not on the first date...”
“Whatever weird pulling tips you've read on the internet, most normal human women can smell them a mile away. If you try them out, you're going to look insane and awful. Trust me. Just be the nicest version of yourself and don't be creepy enough to think you can Cluedo your way into a date, OK?”
- Don't overthink it
“Any women paying you even the slightest bit of attention can really tell when you've been rehearsing your line in your head. If you've been flirting with your co-worker for a while, that's sort of cute, but in pretty much every other situation it smacks of desperation.
“Don't plan elaborate introductions. Don't come up with a massive ruse. Definitely don't use a pre-prepared 'chat up line'. You shouldn't need an excuse to ask someone awesome for their number. A simple: “I'd love to see you again, can I have your number?” should do the trick.”
- Have an actual conversation
“Pre-prepared lines might be a recipe for disaster, but so is going in cold. On the odd occasion asking for a number outright might come across as dashing, but mostly women are probably going to want a bit of context to base their decision on – no matter how handsome you are. Strike up a conversation, make a connection, then ask for a number.”
- Don't overdo it
“Compliments are lovely, but if you don't know someone from Adam, they can sound seriously sleazy, insincere...or just a bit creepy. Don't tell her she has beautiful eyes. Don't tell her you really feel a connection. Unless there's some serious instant, fiery passion, that's just going to come off as lame. Like I said, keep it simple, make a connection, don't be weird.”
- Imagine she's your closest female friend
“This might sound stupid but try imagining she's a woman you've got a great platonic relationship with, whether that's a female mate from uni or your favourite cousin.”
“Imagine how she'd like to be asked for her number and what would send her running in the opposite direction. Do the former, not the latter. Keeping this little nugget in mind will also help stop you freaking out and looking weird – she's just another normal girl – not some unreachable goddess, after all.”